New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
