Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You were trust falling into bushes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
