I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
