when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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