I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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