He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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