I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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