I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
