so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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