My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am naked and annoyed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
