yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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