tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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