Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he puts the penis in happiness.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Randomize
