You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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