not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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