State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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