thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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