im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
