he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
