did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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