She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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