evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
