Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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