Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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