the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
