dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
