Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm passing your future prison.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
