I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
