Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize