I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
