Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
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