are you still at the devil's house?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
