I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
