Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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