never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
