When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
