I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
