A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
