It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
