Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize