It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize