Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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