I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
...so i touched it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
