when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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