Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
