Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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