Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Your tits are I can't wait for
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
