Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
