she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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