I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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