Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
