his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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