Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
