I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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