im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
