This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We named our party play list daddy issues
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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