Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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