I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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