I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
