I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
