Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize