I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
