fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
