He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
