we have officially lost it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
