that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
