Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
