She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
