The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize